SEEK 2013

I never publicly post my beliefs and opinions on facebook like before, but I want to attend a Catholic Conference on Jan 2-6 in Orlando. I need donations to cover for the costs of the conference. I do not care how big or small the donations are since I am going through a change in myself. I am not open about certain things because I know people do not want to hear about me and God and to them its not important to them. If anyone knows my story and the struggles I've been through throughout this past year, you would know I had 2 surgeries this past year and through those struggles I found God again. I had fallen metaphorically and literally...I tore my ACL in March playing DDR and at that time I did things that I said I would never do years ago. Just to say a really quick story before the anesthesia went into full effect before my surgery, I was very resistant and I would not let go. I had a really weird flashback of who I was beforehand and I saw the light and something told me to let go of who I was.The Holy Spirit right? People will say the past couple of months I changed and I admit I did change. Why does it make people cringe when I say that okay I am going to church and yeah I love God and I am on my knees thanking Him for all of my blessings in my life?  I am not living the nun life at all, I am trying to put God in the center of my own life and to also allow Him to control what will happen to me in the future. I may not show it all the time to others since there are people who do not believe in God and who are also very angry towards Him. I do things in silence and in my own time.

I am not perfect though, I fall in sin and I do not read the daily readings every day. There was a time when I went to mass all the time and I actually had strong morals and beliefs, but I lost myself in anger, bitterness, shame, and unforgiveness towards those who I love. I run away from my problems and literally avoid the people, who'd hurt me because I am not upfront about how I feel towards my parents, Phil, my friends, etc. I am afraid of criticism and "being in the wrong" so I am not honest to myself and I live out a lie, when I know deep down there is a reason why I am not feeling right inside of me since my conscience is usually telling me this is not right. Trust me, I know myself and who I was in the past. I am not innocent and I did a lot of wrong to people. I did not pray every night nor even went to mass consistently every Sunday. I walked away from a lot of my friends as I lost myself in my relationship (you know who you are). I am not careful and I make mistakes all the time and I beat myself up for it as I am always getting yelled at. I stopped talking to my parents for a really long time in the past. Most importantly, I avoided God prior to my surgery.

I lost count of how many random people, who were mostly women, I met the past couple of months from July until now who told me their stories about their struggles with the faith and what they did the in the past before they found God again: the McDonald's woman, the Laundromat woman, the old lady at the bus stop, my landlord, Aunt Karen, Ate Flo, my Cognitive Psychology professor, Roger, Sr Marie Maximilianus from the Sisters of Life, the taxi cab driver, the AA Dude, women from the womens group and other people that I can't really remember where I met them. These women all came at the right time when I needed to hear important messages from God. Most importantly these women were a living testimony of whats really important for me: the strong foundations of a God-centered marriage.  Yeah call me crazy but I see the effect of a strong marriages when the couples are God-fearing and they also did things right by getting married. They say that God speaks his message through the form of people, who we meet throughout their lives. We meet people and it can be either a blessing or a lesson and you have to listen to their message to you.

You know what all of these women had in common with their message they all told me to have patience my prayers will be answered over time, love myself, respect my parents and my neighbors, to continue to seek God/turn to him throughout the darkness times, and they gave me the encouragement when I need it the most  all of them said keep going you are almost there. The reason why I know this is not a coincidence anymore is because I asked God to show me signs that I am going the right direction. I do not know what does "almost there mean" besides the fact I am graduating this May.  Don't even get me started about what lies beyond graduation: I do not know where will I go for graduate or law school plus most importantly what will be my career and purpose in life. I will go through the process of taking the LSAT/GRE this January and start applying to graduate schools and entry level positions. I work way too hard and sacrificed everything from friendships to drinking parties to get my education plus get on the Dean's list this semester and I do not want  to be stuck in the 15% statistic of college graduates who are unemployed.

In the past I used to avoid talking to my parents, but in the end they are right in a lot of things and I finally came to forgive the both of them throughout my post surgery struggles and also the aftermaths of Superstorm Sandy. I am now able to communicate to the both of them and sure they tell me what is right and I still can be rebellious and resistant towards their words, but in the end they have gone through the struggles I am going through and they want me to have a better life than they had growing up. This healing took forever and not in the way I wanted to be, but in the end I am thankful for them for taking me back and for their sacrifices to make me happy.

Being involved with the church/the BLD Community/ being labeled as "illegal" one at the Newman Center in Montclair and  listening to Fr Jim Chern's homilies has reignited my passion in life for God and towards helping others. I recently took a retreat in October and it was life changing for me: the young women's retreat, which is done by the Sisters of Life. I might had fallen to sin and the darkness again recently, but its because I am not forgiving myself and I am not letting go of the bitter root pain inside of my heart. I never had the opportunity to attend in Mary Help during my junior and senior year the youth conferences, it was not my time. I do not know why but something (yeah its God) is telling me go to the SEEK conference this January before I potentially have another surgery on my left ankle. What I am trying to say is these retreats whether it is the Singles Encounter or when you receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit through LSS in BLD, the Sisters of Life retreats, or any Catholic Conferences are life changing. They change your perspectives in life as you are trying to find your purpose by SEEKING God and finding your purpose in life through Him. I am growing tired of listening to what society has molded us to do with our lives, seriously its usually not the right way to take away God and think that you are in control of your life but you are not.

I usually do not like asking random strangers for help, but please I need to go to this conference, I can't explain why but this is something I have to go to because I am at the point in my life where I am SEEKING for answers. Even if someone helps me cover half the cost please help me. I am asking for about $500 to cover for the costs and transportation to get to Orlando. I have the link provided below and if you are willing to help me. Below is my address and also the SEEK letter I wrote to explain what the conference is and what the cost will be covering.

Oh yeah and to the people who are probably thinking in your heads I should've worked and you are calling me lazy that I am not working so I will have the money to go to the conference. Okay here is the rundown I am taking 15 credits full time this semester and I am actually serious about school its because I want to make it to the Dean's List and boost up my GPA because I want to further my education beyond a Bachelors Degree next fall, whether it is going to Law school or get my master's in sports marketing or political science in addition to working full time by this summer. And on top of that I am doing an unpaid internship for the job experience. Not to add to another excuse but my left ankle is really bad and its painful to walk on my left leg because of the knee surgery plus I have been falling on that same bad leg the past couple of weeks so I am not able to work and stand on my feet so I am just trying to finish. Plus I am so thankful for my parents helping me these past couple of months and I do have a lot of bills due to all the surgeries so I do not want to ask them for help anymore.

Thanks to anyone who listens to my story, this is obviously the shortened story about me and who knows maybe one day I will be a facilitator/speaker.
Message me for further information. Thanks



http://seek2013.com/what-is-seek/
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Friday, November 23, 2012
As you may know, I am currently attending William Paterson University in Wayne, NJ. God has blessed my time here, making my college experience positive and truly enjoyable.  I have become involved with an organization on Montclair University’s campus called FOCUS, the Fellowship of Catholic University Students.  FOCUS works to help college students, like myself, grow in their faith life and develop leadership skills to be more effective in transforming our culture and society for Jesus Christ. After my knee surgery this May, I finally became more involved and open with learning more about God and my faith. I am trying to become more involved the Single’s ministry worship more often at BLD more often, especially the Women’s group. Since I had two surgeries this past year, it is very difficult with my parents and family to help me pay to attend SEEK.
This January, I have a special opportunity to attend SEEK 2013, a Catholic conference in Orlando presented by FOCUS.  This 5-day event features some of the best Catholic speakers in the nation and is designed to help college students like me seeking for answers.  Seek 2013 will provide me an opportunity to:
·    Grow in my love for Jesus and the Catholic Church
·    Meet over a thousand students from other parts of our nation
·    Spend time with many Bishops, Priests and people in the Religious Life
·    Listen to prominent Catholic speakers discuss issues pertinent to college students
·    Learn practical ways to engage my fellow college students
I am very excited about the possibility of attending SEEK 2013.  The cost of the conference is $350 per student, and we are hoping to raise as a campus $500 for food, transportation to and from Orlando, and additional expenses.  I hope that you are able to make a donation that would help me and other students like me from William Paterson University and Montclair State University get to Orlando for this event!  Any contribution you are able to give toward this cause would be greatly appreciated.  I am praying that 25 people will assist me in a donation between $50 and $100.

Why Vote for Life?

On November 6, 2012, every citizen in the United States is entitled to exercise their constitutional right to vote for the next US President, which is either Barack Obama or Mitt Romney. Lately, this issue has been bothering me that many voters aren’t too well informed about the critical issues in this election. In addition, too many people jump into choosing either candidate without any valid reasoning supporting their claim. People have been telling me that want to just vote for Barack Obama, because Mitt Romney will turn this country downwards.  Lately, my fellow classmates, friends, and even family members have been attacking me for not supporting Barack Obama. I have my own explanation of why I am voting for Mitt Romney and all women should really think about this important issue the right to life issues, abortion, and contraception

On a personal standpoint, the right to life issues has always been an important issue to me. Throughout my four years in a Catholic high school, I became involved with the pro-life movement. I am an advocate for the preserving the life of an unborn child, because I believe the killing of a baby in the mother’s womb is a form of murder. As a result, I attended the March for Life rally in Washington DC every year. The March for Life usually lands on the anniversary, in which the Supreme Court legalized abortion on January 22, 1973. In addition, , we would visit abortion clinics, in order to try to convince women not to undergo the procedure.  Overall, we offered these women alternatives, such as giving up the baby for adoption. Moreover, we provided diapers and other supplies for these women. I learned from this experience about the social responsibility we have as citizens to be active in the community, especially fighting for the rights of the voiceless. We are all members of a nation, that upholds our equal rights no matter race or gender a person. In the end, all human life should be respected from conception until death.

Recently, in the news 13 New York public schools are handing out free morning after pills to girls as young as 14 years old without any parental consent. School nurses are handing out free contraceptions to promote the oversexual culture we live in today. By handing out free condoms and morning after pills, the younger generation believes it’s acceptable to freely have casual sex without understanding the consequences of an unwanted pregnancy. The popularity of pop cultural phenomenon shows, such as Jersey Shore, glamorizes casual sex without any commitment and it continuously degrades women into a sexual object for mere pleasure.  Unfortunately, teenagers watch these shows and associate these characters as “role models” and therefore duplicate their behavior of partying and sexual actions. No one really instills the consequences of these teenagers’s actions by giving out free contraceptions, which is an unwanted pregnancy. This is an outrage that girls as young as 14 are thinking its socially acceptable to engage in sexual activity at a very young age. Many of these teenage girls now understand that using the morning after pill is the “easy way” out an unwanted pregnancy, that is taken to solve the problem to avoid becoming poor at a young age by taking care of a newborn. Teenagers and young women see a baby as an inconvenience in their life. Unfortunately, young high school girls and women alike will choose their only alternative to terminating an unwanted pregnancy, which is to undergo an abortion, without regarding the dangerous consequences of the serious side effects after an abortion.

 Suicide rates and psychological problems is an alarming problem women face after an abortion. The facts and statistics state that: “teenage girls are ten times more likely to attempt suicide than adults who abort”, “65% experienced multiple symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder among women who abort”, and “teens risk further injury or death because they are unlikely to inform parents of any physical complications.( Patterson)” According to the Center for Bio-Ethical Reform, “52% of young women under the age of 25” and “20% of teenagers” all accounted for abortions. Consequently, there is evidence also a high percentage of Hispanic and African American young women, who undergo an abortion. The locations of these schools in New York City are located in prominent Hispanic and African American neighborhoods. When does society draw a line from socially accepting casual sex and abortion amongst young women and teenagers without any moral implications of murdering a viable living unborn baby inside of the mother’s womb? In the end, these women are psychologically and emotionally scarred for life due to the feelings of regret and grief after an abortion.

In addition, the new healthcare mandate in “Obama Care” requires that all hospitals, including Catholic Hospitals, must provide patients with access to abortion procedures, sterilization, and contraception. This mandate denounces a religious organization’s beliefs and goes against the Constitutional rights to religious freedoms. Instead, any hospital, who denies these services, will be forced to shut down. With that being said, President Barack Obama is considered a pro choice extremist and there is evidence that he allows infantcide. For example, as a senator for Illinois, President Obama voted against the Born-Alive Infants Protection Act three times, which “required doctors to provide medical care to these infants, while Obama wanted to leave it up to the discretion of the abortionist to determine whether these infants had a reasonable chance of sustained life. (Mccormack)” Moreover, Obama did stated in his own words, “But it should also include — it should also include other, you know, information about contraception because, look, I’ve got two daughters, 9 years old and 6 years old. I am going to teach them first of all about values and morals. But if they make a mistake, I don’t want them punished with a baby” (Ertelt). To many people babies are considered a miracle oppose to a punishment. In the end, Obama has shown time and time again that he is all for abortion, instead of protecting the life of an unborn baby. The argument pro-choice candidates, like Barack Obama, emphasizes that these preventative services are a woman’s entitlement to their choice and privacy, but what about the unborn baby’s right to live. The sexual act the mother engages in without understanding the consequences is not the unbaby’s fault. Therefore, why should the unborn baby die as a result of the mother’s irresponsibility?

Let’s face the fact: there will always be an ongoing battle between the prolife vs. prochoice sides. Many people will assume that the issues of jobs and the economy will make or break the vote. In the end, it will all come down to the decision of the conservative Catholic and Christian voters in the battleground swing states, such as Ohio. How can one justify the known fact that there are premature babies who are born as early as 6 months, who end up living a normal life. If that same baby was killed outside of the womb, then it is considered murder. Meanwhile, an unborn baby inside a mother’s womb is only considered a blob of tissue, but they are able to experience pain at 20 weeks of gestation and “it” is not considered a person.  What happened to educating teenagers about promoting chastity instead of handing them free contraceptives? In the end,the vote will come down to a moral and ethical standpoint.

Works Cited

 The Center of Bio-Ethical Reform.  Web. 28 Sept. 2012. <http://www.abortionno.org/Resources/fastfacts.html>.

Ertelt, Steven. “Barack Obama Would Back Daughters’ Abortion, ‘Don’t Punish Them With a Baby.’” LifeNews. N.p., 31 Mar. 2008. Web. 28 Sept. 2012. <http://www.lifenews.com/2008/03/31/nat-3827/>.

Mccormack, John. “Video: Obama Says He’s ‘Pro-Choice’ on Third-Trimester Abortions.” The Weekly Standard. N.p., n.d. Web. 28 Sept. 2012. <http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/video-obama-says-hes-pro-choice-third-trimester-abortions_650524.html>.

Patterson, H. “Teen Abortion Risks Fact Sheet.” Christian Life Resources.. Web. 28 Sept. 2012. <http://www.christianliferesources.com/article/teen-abortion-risks-fact-sheet-1196>.